La La Land

Dir: Damien Chazell, 2016

3/10

I have no idea what film the critics have been watching but it, surely, can’t be this. Is there another film with this title that I haven’t heard about?

My god, this film is awful.

A throwback to the musicals of the fifties, such as Rodgers and Hammerstein, La La Land attempts to recreate the dance sequences and style of those 20th Century Fox movies with a jazz soundtrack.

Boring, meandering, overlong and dreadful, it’s terribly plotted and drawn out with the plot creeping along at a snail’s pace.

Starring Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone, the two leads are wholly inappropriate for this with neither a modicum of musical talent between them. They can neither sing nor dance and the performances are wooden.

The story is minimal and uninvolving and is unable to take hold of your interest for even a second, let alone two hours.

The jazzy soundtrack isn’t catchy and largely forgettable. All the songs sound so alike, you can’t tell one from the next.

My missus loves musicals and has a real fondness for The Sound Of Music, Seven Brides For Seven Brothers and Singin’ In The Rain, but all the way through the film she was constantly looking at her watch with the hope that it would finish soon.

Director Chazell, has crafted a turgid, banal and derisory movie that is vulgar in its self-importance and coarse in its ham-fistedness

The choreography is stiff and unimaginative, the design, bland. La La Land places the style of the 1950’s within a contemporary setting but this merely frustrates.

Lead characters are part of the driving force in propelling a film forward and their likeability is an essential element in the success of the viewer’s acceptance and enjoyment.

Here, the lead characters are dislikeable with Gosling’s Sebastian a rude and arrogant pianist and Stone’s Mia, mardey and whining.

These characters are not people we can connect with and aid toward the overall disappointment in the film.

Ugly, dull and lifeless, Chazell’s film is a failed attempt to reanimate a decades old corpse.

Insipid and drab, La La Land is not worth the price of a free rental.

Truly terrible.

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