Rings

Dir: F. Javier Gutierrez, 2017

3/10

Why can’t Hollywood, leave things alone?

Hideo Nakata’s cinema adaptation of Koji Suzuki’s novel, Ringu, is a superb and wonderfully scary movie, that oozes creepiness from the first frame.

Gore Verbinski’s 2002 remake, wasn’t a patch on the original and the least said about it’s 2005 sequel, the better.

But, ten years is a long time, and you can’t help but feel hopeful that lessons have been learned and the new installment would be worthy of Nakata’s 1998 film.

Sadly, within minutes of the film starting, your hopes are dashed.

If you’ve seen any of the films, then you know the plot. However, here’s a very quick run down:

High school/college student, watches a cursed videotape. After watching the tape, the viewer receives a phone call informing them that they will be dead in seven days.

Unless, that is, the person cursed, makes a copy of the tape and shows it somebody else, passing the curse on.

There is a common trope in horror movies, where people do daft things, such as; not turning the light on and picking up a spoon instead of a knife, that sort of thing. But, here, the characters take stupidity to a whole new level.

Don’t believe me? Let me give you an example; somebody tells you not to watch the tape because it’s highly dangerous and will kill you. So, what do you do? That’s right. Go and watch it just to see if they’ve got it correct. If somebody told the girl in this, not to put her hand in the fire because it would seriously hurt her, she would! You are also warned that after seeing the tape, you get the phone call, informing you that you only have seven days. Great idea! Answer the phone.

There has always been several problems with the storyline of Ring. Like, what would happen if you didn’t answer the phone? Or, maybe, someone else answered it. Why does the videotape never degrade, despite all the viewings that it’s subjected to? And, let’s not forget, the multiple copies that get made. What about, if you’re in a public place and there is no television? Or on public transport? Can the curse still get you? Rings attempts to satisfy these oft asked queries, but mangles it and only raises more questions.

This third entry is riddled with so many plot holes and inconsistencies, the film becomes an even bigger chore to sit through. Events are left unexplained or just don’t go anywhere. This causes an immense amount of frustration.

However, the most baffling thing of all is that it’s so damn boring. Devoid of any scares, jumps, chills or even anything remotely creepy, Rings is an exercise is pointlessness. Boring is the last thing a film with this premise should be.

Terrible, awful, cliched, predictable.

Watch the original Japanese film. It’s a million times better.

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