Dirty Dancing

Dir: Wayne Blair , 2017

1/10

Regardless of whether you’re a fan or not of the original, there are some films that are classics and should be left alone.

1987’s Dirty Dancing, is a beloved chick flick, that many people hold dear. It was fine the way it was. Remaking the film, was an exercise in redundancy.

Frances “Baby” Houseman (Abigail Breslin) goes on holiday with her affluent family to Kellerman’s, an upmarket resort.

While there, she learns how to dance from working class dance instructor Johnny Castle (Colt Prattes). An romance blossoms between the two, but her family doesn’t like it. 

During her time at the resort, Baby also becomes involved in the problems and dilemmas of the staff.

For all its cheesiness, the original had a charm to it that made the film difficult to dislike. That has been entirely removed here, and takes itself far too seriously. 

The film is totally miscast. Breslin is too chubby to be taken as Baby, and does hardly any dancing. Prattes is a great contender for the most boring actor around. He couldn’t deliver a letter, never mind his lines. 

A major flaw in this remake, is that turning of it into a musical. The original soundtrack is mostly there, but it’s sung by the cast. It doesn’t work.

Adhering largely to the 1987 script, this version takes enormous liberties with the source material and adds several scenes and lines that do nothing but drag the film down, even more.

There is even less chemistry between the two leads, than there was between Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey. And they hated each other. 

Despite their differences, Grey and Swayze were graceful in the dancing, with the iconic “lift” in the lake being a highlight. Breslin lacks that gracefulness, and flings her arms and legs about like a dying whale. I was half expecting Greenpeace to show up.

This is a truly awful movie, that should of been shot down at the mere suggestion, and the executive who thought of it, ground down, placed in a rocket and fired into outer space.

But, for all its faults, it’s still not as bad as The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Let’s Do The Time Warp, Again!.

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